when I saw him.

Hi there, I know I haven’t written a word for ages! Sorry for that… being a blogger is not an easy task.

However I have several things to talk about but I am going to write about the most important thing that happened in my life in the last three days.

I was feeling down and confused about my feelings. I finished a long relationship several months ago and I was looking for a new relationship. I believe I am ready for it. However, during these months, I haven’t found any connection with anybody. I was feeling as a part of a gay game in which few people win and most of them waste their time waiting for the charming prince. And  I was in this group. I have no idea how many hours I spent checking scruff and grindr, waiting for the message that nobody wanted to send me.

On Friday night (today is Tuesday), I went to a friend’s house for dinner. I like him, he likes me but he ended a long relationship a month ago and he is still in pain. I understand him… I tried to help him but the only medicine is time. We had a great night. We had a great Saturday. We went to the beach with his dogs; we went to an art exhibition where his father was showing his paintings; we watched a movie; we slept together.

The beautiful Saturday finished and I went to another dinner (a bbq) with some friends. After midnight, although I did not want, we went to a gay bar. I accepted it because I did not want to be alone that night.

The bar was as always: people wandering, dancing, drinking, smoking and checking their grindr profiles.

At two in the morning, my friend and his girlfriend asked me if I wanted to leave with them. All of us were exhausted… I was going to leave with them but some strange feeling made me change my opinion. I said good night to them and I continued dancing.

I remember the song. All the lovers. Kylie Minogue. And I remember those blue eyes. Immediately I knew why I chose to stay longer. “Hello”, he said with his strong Irish accent. “My name is Patrick”. Hi Patrick I replied. And I replied because I felt he was different. And he was.

We agreed to grab a beer on Monday night. And we had not one but two beers because we both were driving our cars. We talked a lot; we laughed; we dreamed; we cried; we were in silence. After several hours, our night finished. We walked to the cars and our hands touched each other in a sudden movement. It was the signal to awake those butterflies that were sleeping for years inside my body. And the most beautiful kiss that I have received in years came, like the most wonderful rainbow appears after the heavy storm.